I think the relationship we have with our hair is pretty complex. I know for me, I place a lot of attachment to it, and strangely, was partly the reason I decided I wanted to cut it. I think my hair had been long for quite some time, at least 3-5 years, and it’s not that I didn’t like it, at one time I really loved how it looked.
It wasn’t until I really started to fantasise with the idea of cutting it all off, that I thought about my own relationship with my hair, especially as it had been long for some time. When I had thought about cutting it off in the past something always stopped me. I think I had associated my hair with safety, like having long hair some how made me blend in more, and be less noticeable. I also think I had to challenge my own ideas 0f femininity and sexuality. Having long hair had also become a security blanket especially if I was in a bikini or my arms were out. On the days I felt insecure about my looks, it felt it was a way to hide, and that’s ok too, but I wanted to challenge myself and my feelings towards my hair.
It’s not that I didn’t like having long hair, I really did, and it’s not to say I won’t have long hair again one day, but I was bored of it, I wanted a change. I recently wrote this post How to feel bitchin no matter what your shape or size, and since this post I had noticed my relationship to my own body had improved massively and with clothes in general. The thought of cutting my hair both terrified me and filled me with excitement.
It’s times like these I realise how much of an all or nothing person I am. Friends had told me it might be a good idea to go shorter a stage at a time, and I knew straight sway, if I was doing it, I was going to go for it! Even my good friend Ashley who I had asked to cut it was nervous about it, ‘what if you hate it’ she asked, and I did think that could have been a potential outcome, but I also felt there was something to challenge in that possibility, and either way it would make an interesting blog post. I like short hair on other people, but what if I don’t actually like it on me I thought?
Needless to say, curiosity got the better of me, I cut my hair short. I LOVED it! I totally appreciate it could have gone either way, and I actually was surprised by how much of a thrill it was taking that kind of a gamble.
So do I feel different? Yes. I still feel feminine, I still feel ‘pretty’ but more than anything I feel quite rebellious and that was something I hadn’t anticipated. I suddenly longed to rummage through my makeup drawers, Lipstick I thought! I want to wear lipstick! I started to play again, even clothes suddenly felt really exciting.
It’s so much fun getting out of my comfort zone, and I’m not ashamed to say how much I’m enjoying this new hair phase. It will grow, it will get more grey, but ultimately it’s up to me what I do with it next. To anyone who is thinking of a drastic change, be brave, try something new and just have fun with it.
If you’d like a post on how I style my short hair let me know in the comments below.